Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Holy Milestones, Batman!

Dear Internet,

I apologize. Between deadlines and weather I have been having a hard time keeping up with the blogosphere. For a while the weather was nice and it distracted me. I went outside and blinked into the sunshine and soaked up the warmth like some sort of prisoner recently freed from a snowy jail. Then it started to rain. And it rained and rained and rained and rained and rained...well you get my drift. Drift! Hahaha. Ahem. It rained so much the ants started to come inside. The sun came out again today so I'm back to being a blinky former inmate of my ant-infested house.

I haven't told you about the ants in my den. "Infested" is, for the moment, an exaggeration, but I have no doubt those little critters are regrouping as we speak and planning a massive frontal assault on my kitchen, at which point I will run screaming for the hills because, in addition to my
tooth phobia, I also have a little "thing" about bugs. I'm okay with snakes, though. And frogs.

This posting is not about the ants, however. THIS posting [cue trumpets] is about milestones! Hurray!

Here are just a few things that have been happening lately. I would like to write about each and every one of these things in great wordy detail but, by gum, I have to run off to do dishes and squish ants in the den, so here is a brief summary:

1. Boychild finished Kindergarten on Monday. I walked away from dropping him off that morning thinking, "This isn't so bad. I'm not going to cry." Then it rained and rained and rained in the afternoon, not to mention the continuous thunder and lightning that seemed to be some sort of portent from the gods foretelling the woe of moms at home with kids for the whole. entire. summer. (melodrama, much?). Due to the yucky weather and my lack of a vehicle at the time my friend kindly went to pick up Boychild and her boys after school. That meant - GASP! - I did not get to pick him up one last time from Kindergarten! I did not get to say goodbye to his teacher! (Do you think the two cards, garden-picked flowers and gift certificate sent in the morning were enough to express my sheer gratitude for all she has done for Boychild?) I still didn't cry, but it was close. Finished Kindergarten. Wow. That's huge. I may cry later. Like on Day 54 or so of the long old summer. Especially if it rains every freaking day like it has been.

2. Just to make sure I was paying attention to the fact he is growing up faster than a hummingbird sucking back caffeine (what?), Boychild goes and loses one of his front teeth the very evening he finished Kindergarten. Now he's a goofy-looking Kindergarten graduate who will be seven-feet tall by tomorrow afternoon. At this point I will just, again, refer to my tooth issue and indicate I very nearly had to stop killing ants to run screaming from the room when he wiggled that tooth wildly and agreed to the suggestion that we pull it for him. Fortunately it didn't come to that - it wiggled out with a little help from Boychild. And I'm still here, dutifully killing ants. Did I mention we have ants?

3. A certain Girlchild in our house decided on Sunday that, yes, she would at last like to wear her Big Girl Undies. And, lo, potty training began in earnest. I will be so enormously grateful to be finished with diapers FOREVER! Girlchild is performing beautifully and is so pleased with her progress - she beams like the sunshine she is. She even stayed dry on the second night! And she will love me for raving about it on the Internet!

That's all the milestones I've got for now. In other news, I bought new denim capris pants that fit even better than the old ones, which have not turned up in any of the heaps of junk in my house so far. I'm still going with the stolen-laundry theory, unless the ants carried them away. Regardless, I'm not sure if I will ever be able to hang them outside.

Please accept my sincerest apologies for being so delinquent in my mutterings - I mean postings. Did I mention I have been distracted by ants? and rain? and sun? and my pants? and my toes?

Yours truly,

Crazy Ant Lady

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sisterhood of the Stolen Pants?

I'm not a fashion diva by any stretch. That's part of what makes me lovably frumpy. I don't live for shopping. Every once in a while, though, I am inspired to look for something in particular.

One such item was denim capris. I had been keeping my eyes open for a few seasons to find a pair I liked - without much luck. They either didn't fit quite right (my usual problem) or had too much stitching or too many embellishments or were too acid-washy.

Finally I stumbled upon a pair a couple of months ago that fit, looked okay and were reasonably priced. And I had a gift certificate - yeehaw!

Those were comfy pants. I wore them lots and really liked them. I'm talking about them in the past tense - did you notice?

We had a hot spell recently and I stopped wearing them. Today I went looking for them because now we're having a cool spell (damned weather). Do you think I can find them?

I have looked everywhere. I've checked every hamper and every basket of clean clothes. I have checked my closet and drawers and shelves several times, then I checked everyone else's in case they were misfiled.

They. Have. Vanished.

Then my excitable brain starts recalling an incident a week or so ago when I noticed some empty clothespins on the line. I think at the time I chalked it up to Boychild pulling off a towel, but now I am wondering...did someone steal my friggin' pants? Seriously? A pair of run-of-the-mill denim capris you can buy at Mark's Work Wearhouse? What's up with that?

I'm really hoping they turn up in a pile of clutter somewhere in the house because who wants to be on high laundry alert?

So let this be a warning to you all. Don't be hanging your Chanel or Armani or Versace-wear on the line. Ahem. Or your Mark's Work Wearhouse, apparently.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A Little Crayon With Your Pasta?

My favourite part of the day, by far, had to be when Boychild accidentally flipped his bowl of Chef Boy R Dee Pasta and Shells with Meatballs (yes, I'm one of THOSE mothers) into the big red box that is home to our collection of crayons, coloured pencils and markers.

So Mama, working on not enough sleep and fighting a nasty headache, had the distinct pleasure of picking through cold, slimy pasta and little grey balls, rinsing oily tomato sauce off of dozens of crayons, coloured pencils and markers and then spreading them out to dry all over the kitchen counter.

Such. Fun.

I'll be posting something about sleep deprivation soon. For now? It's jammy time.