Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's Just. Not. Fair.

The sleep thing with kids is just just just...arrrgh!

I think my daughter is trying to kill me. Most nights are pretty good, but the nights that aren't are like torture: just as you start to doze off someone bursts in and wakes you up and makes you get out of bed and complete tasks like blowing a nose or turning on lullabies or going potty or aligning the planets or moving the Earth or doing cartwheels or whatever.

On Friday night the kids went to bed about an hour later than usual because we were out with another family. They got up only fractionally later than usual in the morning (7:30 instead 0f 7). That meant Girlchild, in particular, was quite tired Saturday night. We got her to bed in good time and, instead of her usual array of stalling tactics, she fell promptly to sleep without a peep.

Bliss? All is right in preschoolerland? You'd think. As I stumbled into bed (too late for my own good) hours later, I nervously considered the very real possibility she would wake up early because she fell asleep so quickly. "Surely not," the optomistic voice chirped. "After all, she's pretty tired from Friday night."

Can you see where this is going?

Ladies and gentlemen, she first awoke at 5:30. Five thirty! I wasn't surprised, but I was annoyed. We are not morning people. Girlchild usually sleeps until after 7. Besides, we encourage our prisoners - I mean children - to stay in bed until at least 7. This is all fine and good if they can tell time, which Girlchild cannot. She was in and out of bed like a yo-yo several times until Boychild, who can tell time, staggered into my room mere moments after 7. Then we all "merrily" went downstairs to commence our day. By "merrily" I mean mama put the capital G in "Grumpy" and the kids fought like, well, cranky, sleep-deprived people.

Naturally, late this afternoon after we all stumbled home from a birthday party for an eight-year-old friend, Girlchild fell asleep for an hour on the couch. If you were to go by the Handy Dandy Baby Rule Book whereby "sleep begets sleep," you would not be alarmed by this. She needs to catch up, right? You don't want her to be overtired, right?

You'd think. Yet as I write this little Miss Catch-Up McCatchypants has been springing out of bed for an hour and a half past her bedtime, just like I figured she would. I'm running out of viable threats now that today's birthday party is over. For now we've left it that I will be calling the Birthday Fairy (did you know girls have a birthday fairy?) and cancelling her third birthday in a couple of weeks if she doesn't stay in bed.

Sigh. It's just. not. fair.

P.S. Incidentally, the Birthday Fairy also refuses to grant third birthdays to little girls who do not poop in potties. Y'all remember Vernette? She who has regressed? There has been one successful potty moment (featuring a bribe of Smarties) from a few days ago, but now she's overdue and her mama is afraid....Sigh. It's just. not. fair.


Monnik said...

oh my gosh. i'm in the same boat as you with my youngest (who's 5). The kid just won't sleep! She was up this morning at 5 a.m. wanting me to read her The Grinch Who Stole Christmas I told her to look at the pictures in her room. Quietly. With the door shut so that her light wouldn't disturb me.

Mama P said...

That is a tough one. Oh my. What are you going to do on that?

You are so funny. You know that. Not that your pain is funny, but your take on it is hilarious. Poor girl. Maybe she has whooping cough??? (Hee hee...)

Tara Lee said...

Stephanie! You are hilarious!!!

I can relate....I can also relate to the poop too!!! Somedays I feel like my life is one big poop stain!

So, I'm coming out of hiding...shh, don't tell!!! : )