Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Past Deadline: I'm Spellbound!

We're well into Week 3 and no casualties yet! I've only gritted my teeth a few times. Here's the scoop published in The Perth Courier on Tuesday, Feb. 17/09. Oh, and for Derek, the world tour will stop at Numogate, too.

I’m spellbound!

Groom-boy has been home lately and it’s kinda cool! He’s taking some time off before he starts his Brand Spankin’ Shiny New Career as the host of the next reality TV sensation: So You Think You Can Shovel Canada. It promises to be spellbinding. Auditions start in June.

He’s also keeping busy organizing the logistics of the 2009 Past Deadline World Tour (complete with stops in the stadiums at Maberly, Watson’s Corners, Ompah and Port Elmsley). Stay tuned for widespread media coverage of that event – which also promises to be spellbinding.

Best of all, though, is that when Groom-boy is home, I have a dishwasher. According to some, my house is firmly entrenched in the dark ages because we don’t have a handy dandy electronic appliance that cleaneth thine dishes. In fact, when we stayed at a cottage for a few days last summer, it was a little unnerving to find one there in the boonies. Remarkable machine. Spellbinding, really.

One reason for our distinct lack of dishwasherness (aside from some possibly misguided arguments about energy and water waste) is that I’m almost positive I would have a nervous breakdown over the amount of cupboard space we would lose in our little kitchen if a dishwasher were to appear. Seriously, I’d rather do the dishes by hand than have to figure out where to put our re-usable containers and mixing bowls and cookie tins.

The existence of the physical appliance is beside the point anyway. What really makes for a happy and successful marriage is having another person around who is motivated to actually lift the dirty dishes from the messy table and ensure they are, somehow, cleaned – be it manually, mechanically or by cat. (I’m kidding about the cat. We had to stop doing that after we learned Buster is diabetic.)

The first week Groom-boy was home I experienced Four! Blissful! Days! of not having to wash a single, solitary dish. He just did ’em. It was fabulous. Spellbinding! The second week the ratio dropped to about 50/50, but I can live with that. It’s still better than going solo because the spouse is working all day and some evenings, too.

This amazing new experience doesn’t stop with the dishes. He’s been doing a lot of the laundry, too. (We have one of those handy dandy electronic clothes-washing thingies – we got rid of the washboard last year.) There has been vacuuming completed without my input or supervision as well. This is just grand!

Now, I don’t intend to make it sound as if certain folks who live here didn’t ever contribute to the household chores before. Indeed, all sorts of fantastic things got done on a regular basis. What’s different, though, is that someone is around to help with things that are normally on my to-do list.

As you can imagine, this feels like a vacation! I could get used to this live-in domestic and child-care provider thing. I mean, I was actually able to make an appointment on a weekday to get my hair cut and I didn’t have to drag any children with me! Amazing! Flexibility is an astonishing luxury.

I have got to be careful, though, not to get too used to it. After all, once his Brand Spankin’ Shiny New Career as a brain surgeon begins, Groom-boy will be busy busy busy. Since he was taking some time off first, though, there were bets taken – at least unofficially – about how long it would be before Mom Ineeda felt compelled to send Groom-boy away to do things at a place that was not in this house, such as Tibet.

So far, so good. After all, it hearkens back to the three-plus years when we not only lived together, but we worked together as reporters. Nobody died then!

Others have suggested if I am worried about too much quality time with Groom-boy, then I could work more. It’s a novel idea, if it weren’t for the fact I work at home in a Les Nessman office that has no door, let alone walls.

You’ll understand if I show up at your house and ask to use your computer though, right?


Sparky said...

excellent! :)

Karen said...

You're hilarious. I think a two-legged dishwasher is probably better for conversation than a machine....

Steph said...

I know the dishwasher definitely talks back! One drawback to the two-legged version is you can't just push a button and make it go.