Thursday, April 5, 2012

Past Deadline: By Way of Update

This week I had to choose between imparting my great wisdom and in-depth analyses upon the masses regarding the provincial and federal budgets or updating you about my fish tank and my car.

I chose the latter because the budget one would have been – uh – very budgetty. Besides, I left everyone hanging with last week’s aquarium birth stories and I would hate to think of you waiting by the door for your newspaper and wringing your hands with worry.

My previous column chronicled the great fertility in the tank – there were baby snails and peppered cory eggs.

I am pleased to report we still have some baby snails, but not so many as to have it deemed an infestation – so far. That means I don’t have to invoke the Hanging Lettuce Trap or any other form of snail elimination at this point. Phew!

As for the corys, well, hmm. Last week I guessed at three possible scenarios on how this would end: 1. The corys or some other tank inhabitant would eat the eggs. 2. The eggs would get all fuzzy and fungal and wouldn’t hatch. 3. The eggs would hatch, but the babies would be so tiny we wouldn’t see them no matter how obsessive I am. And then someone would eat them.

Boychild and I kept a suitably obsessive eye on things, but those corys are cagey. Some of the eggs went fungal. In my inexperienced opinion, none developed quite the way the Interwebs said they would, but after the requisite three to five days it really did look as if the eggs had hatched because there were a lot of empty casings clinging to the glass.

At least that’s what we found in the mornings. All the action – whether it was hatching or becoming dinner – happened while we slept.

I looked and looked for tiny cory fry. I studied online, but never did I see anything that looked like a tiny baby cory.

One of Boychild’s friends came over and swears he saw one squiggle by, which makes me envious.

I continue to check, thinking that if some did survive and are hiding, then eventually they will be bigger and will reveal themselves, but deep down I know that at some stage or another, they were dinner (see No. 3, above).

Nevertheless, it was a cool experiment.

It was almost as cool as having a car.

I am experiencing bliss!

Now that we are a two-car family, life is a little less painful. I hate to dredge it up again, but I have to tell you that not having to walk everywhere has made my Stupid Foot feel pretty darned good.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it turns out my foot only hurts when I walk. (Shh! I know this is quite obviously a good news/bad news thing, but I’m going to stick to the car-bliss theme right now.)

Did you know there are some really funky songs on the radio right now? See, in my world, Working in the Office Music is muuuuch different than Driving Around in the Car Music. For one thing, the latter is much louder.

Admittedly, there are occasions when I need a blast of motivation to get a job done and opt for loud, funky music in the office. One advantage to that over the car is that people can’t see me chair dancing in the home office, but they can see me in my car.

It’s true! People can see you when you are in your car, even though it seems as if you are in a private moving bubble. So if you say bad words to another driver, he or she may be able to read your lips. And don’t pick your nose or be otherwise gross because you are not invisible.

Even with these incredible, alarming risks, I have to say that having a car at my whim and fancy has been absolutely freeing.

Let’s see how I feel after paying for the car and its gas for a few more months. I guess I could sell the snails....

Published in The Perth Courier, April 5/12

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