Past Deadline: Will Power Skipped Town

The other day I was walking down the street when a lady I have known since I was just a wee kid pulled up beside me in her car.

“How’s the diet going?” she asked cheerfully.

I was puzzled. “Pardon?” I asked.

“Your diet! How’s it going?”

“Oh, that!” I laughed nervously, vaguely remembering something about telling the world via my column in the newspaper that I was going to watch what I eat.

Hahaha.

I keep forgetting that I tell people things. On the one hand it’s a good motivator because, as you know, if you see it in print then it must be true.

Ahem.

Or sort of true.

The “diet” isn’t going well. I think a lot about eating the right things, but somehow the right things don’t always make it to my mouth. I know exactly what I should be eating, but you won’t see my face on a Healthy Snacking Role Model poster anytime soon.

And that nemesis of mine – snacking in the evening – is back. Big time.

I blame Will Power. Has anyone seen him? I think he skipped town.

The need for improvement hit home on the weekend.

I was at the fabulous Build a Bridge Bash on Friday night. (This was a dinner/dance for the Friends of Murphys Point Park, Tay Valley Cross Country Ski Club and Rideau Trail Association to raise funds to help build a bridge on a trail we all use at Murphys Point – and it was awesome! Thanks to everyone who supported the event!)

Usually when I am at events related to the Friends, I am behind the camera capturing the scenes. This time I pawned off the job to Groom-boy, who has been known to take a dandy photo or two.

As I sorted through the images a couple of days later, I found one taken while I was speaking with a microphone, and I look like a lounge singer. It makes me laugh.

There were a couple that did not make me laugh. One is a picture of someone else entirely, but there I am in the background, chatting with someone with my back to the camera. There is another shot from behind while I am sitting at a table.

Oh, dear.

My goodness. I am much wider than I thought I was. In fact, I think we might have faulty mirrors in our house because I could have sworn I was about half that width – at least from the front.

Perhaps I need meds? Or new glasses? Or to train Groom-boy not to take pictures of me from behind?

Or – reality check – to eat better and get more exercise?

Yeah...that last one, I think.

These are the sorts of photos that one tapes to the inside of the cupboard where the cookies and crackers live to prevent one from eating anything but fruits and vegetables ever again.

Sigh.

Another thing I have rambled about in the newspaper recently (yes, it’s true, I sometimes ramble and babble) is the Kilt Run. I signed up for this fabulous Perth event that takes place on July 2.

Because I have spilled the beans so many times in print, this naturally leads people to ask, “How’s the running going?” or “Are you still running?”

I have a hard time answering this.

The short answer is “Yes, I am still running,” but if you were to ask for proof you would be hard pressed to find it.

I am not running as often as I would like to. That said, I did manage to run 8K without dying not long ago, so there is, presuming I run at least a few/several times between now and July, hope that I will actually be able to go the distance.

The important thing, though, is will I be able to fit into the kilt? A measurement was submitted when I registered, and an assumption was made that I would be able to at least maintain that size, but with the recent photographic evidence...I dunno.

I blame Will Power for all of this. He has skipped town, thereby forcing me to snack whenever I choose and on things that are not fruits and vegetables.

It’s all his fault. The bum.

Published in The Perth Courier, April 21/11.