Thursday, May 26, 2011

Past Deadline: Yoo Hoo...Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

Are you okay?

You know I am one of your biggest fans. I consistently speak highly of you in glowing terms peppered with words such as “verdant” and “amazing” and “inspiring.”

I am, however, a bit concerned. I think, perhaps, you may have dozed off and forgotten that now, amid the teens of May, we could be feeling a tiny bit warmer and, possibly, a bit drier if you believe in that “April showers bring May flowers” thing.

I don’t want to pester or cajole, but I found myself cooking a pot roast on Sunday because it felt like November. As I write this, I am considering turning on the furnace. I put away some winter coats just the other day, but maybe I was hasty? Boychild is growing. I thought I could put off buying a stash of pants until closer to Autumn – am I wrong? Are you in cahoots with Hydro One to get more money? I’m asking because my drier is working overtime while my clothesline is idle.

What gives?

Groom-boy and I got married one May a buncha years ago. The year before the wedding we went canoeing along the Tay and observed how much light we would have later in the day for photographs and what sort of foliage we might expect. That year it was warm and sunny with ample spring flowers and blossoming trees and leafy branches. “Hurray!” said we.

Dumb kids.

Yes, I know, we had been alive for a lot of years by then, but apparently we had forgotten about how temperamental Spring can be. The wedding year? Not so lovely.

I was reminded of this as we shivered our way into May 2011. This year was even worse than our wedding year. The weather, I mean. Perhaps Heck is finally freezing over?

I am certain there are meteorologists out there who are tut-tutting and pointing to statistics and who would tell me to get a grip, and that’s fine. Others would argue it could be much worse. But I’m cold.

I suppose the silver lining to this past weekend of rain and wind and cold temperatures was that it wasn’t conducive to gardening, which was handy because I had to work anyway.

That’s it, though. Enough already. I want to use my trowel on the holiday weekend.

Maybe I just have a bad attitude and complain too much (who, me?). After all, I look around and see creatures making the best of it and forging ahead. Two little wrens are nesting in Boychild’s birdhouse. The blossoms are starting to peek out on the apple tree. Bees are busy pollinating and terrorizing Girlchild with their mere existence. If it were warm enough to open the windows I would hear frogs calling.

It’s all good.

I suppose this gives you licence, Mother Nature, to write a snarky postcard response (assuming there is no postal strike) to tell me to “Suck it up, buttercup” and suggest I wear a parka while I weed. Maybe you will point out that after the weekend of rain, even though it was a cold, the grass is greener and the leaves are bursting and the lilacs are blooming.

It’s just…I’m shivering (she whined).

Groom-boy called home the other night while he was out on a milk run and asked if I wanted something from Dairy Queen. I don’t think history has ever recorded me saying “no” to that offer, but I did. “It will make me colder,” I said. I had, after all, spent a few hours out in the rain that day helping to set up for the Archaeo Apprentice school program at Murphys Point this week.

Which reminds me: by the time this column hits the paper, I hope you will have adjusted the forecast so that it doesn’t rain every day during the program. Rain-or-shine archaeology is great and all, but I think the shine is more fun.

So, Mother Nature, I hope this letter finds you well and ready to turn on the charm for a while. Oh – and I should clarify that some heat without humidity would be a great way to make up for the junky weather we’ve been getting.


Published in The Perth Courier, May 19/11

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