Thursday, April 24, 2008

Holding Out on Mama

Note to readers: This is a poop post. If you don't like poop, might I suggest this charming vignette instead?

I know a little who girl who probably would be none too pleased as a teenager to read about this topic, so I shall refrain from using her name. Let's just call her, um, Vernette.

So Vernette's a cute little thing. She's two and a half, going on 15. She's not gonna take no crap from nobody. In fact, these days she will have nothing to do with poop of any kind. She's got 'tood, man. I said 'tood, not turd.

As a baby and a younger toddler, Vernette, so I'm told, was always a good daily pooper, just as I'm sure we'd all like to be. Suddenly, a few weeks ago, caca fell out of favour. Vernette holds it in for days. And days. And days. And days.

Her parents pleaded and cajoled. They tried reasoning with her. They softened things up with nutritional alterations. Mineral oil. Suppositories. Bribes. Potty versus diaper versus wearing nothing. They pulled out all the stops, but couldn't pull the stopper.

What gives? "Why don't you want to let the poop out?" Vernette's mama asked the child after a session of foot stomping, sobbing and leg crossing (Vernette, not her mama).

"I'm going to poop when I'm a little older," Vernette said, nodding solemnly.

Oh, dear. Her mama wonders what she means by "a little older." In an hour or two? A couple of days? Six months from now when she's three?

What makes a child decide she just doesn't want to poop?

This is just one more of at least a thousand reasons why parents need that psychology degree.


momma's heart said...

This has got to be so stressful. Sorry you're having to go through it. Sounds like you've covered every angle. Keep us posted.

You really are such a great writer. Reminds me of Dooce and Finslippy, the way the humor just rolls and rolls.

Sparky said...

Man, that Vernette! Wait until she has kids and her mom can tell her all about it! Hahahaha. I am sure your local ER doctor might have some helpful advice. Maybe? :)

Steph said...

Momma's Heart: That's a BIG compliment! Thanks!

Sparky: Yes, perhaps I should call that doctor. At home. In the middle of the night. On Vernette's mama's behalf, of course. ;)

Evenspor said...

It seems like I was on some board a while back - maybe it was Baby Center's potty training board? - and this was a problem mentioned on a lot of posts. Apparently it's not uncommon behavior for kids this age. I know that doesn't really help, but at least you know you're not alone.

I mean, Vernette's mama is not alone. Of course.

Monnik said...

Ha! you have me cracking up at this line:

"They pulled out all the stops, but couldn't pull the stopper."

But I'm sorry to hear about it. I hope little Vernette has a movement soon!