Warning: The following post is going to sound a bit like a distant, annoying bird whose call is "rantrantrantrantrant squawk!" Please accept my apologies in advance.
Down time. What's that? Do you ever get any?
Before I begin, let me just say I realize I am a lucky girl. Great family, great support, flexibility and skill to work from home at a job I love.
But - it's cold and snowing again today and lately I have been the last woman standing in a crowd of unhealthy people (Groom-boy caught the barfies, too), so I'm feeling a bit cranky. Not to mention I am finding it hard to keep up with my deadlines when people aren't napping as usual or aren't going to bed and staying in bed as usual or aren't going to school because of the barfies or a wonky schedule, etc.
In fact, I feel a bit panicky sometimes about this whole work-from-home thing. While most days are extraordinarily blissful, some days just aren't.
Let me be clear: I love what I do and I don't regret this path. I am building my career and my family together. It seems to be rubbing off. My son told his Nan today that when he grows up he wants to work from home - and type. "Type what?" she asked. "Just type." Aw, he wants to be like his mom. Dare to dream, boy.
Some days, though, I just need a little whine with my cheese - especially when we still have four feet of snow (and counting) at the end of March. That's just cruel.
Something that has cropped up before but that seems to be really irksome lately is a distinct lack of down time in my life. Mommy By Day, Typist (apparently) by Night is how it feels. My mom helps two or three mornings a week, but otherwise I work when children sleep, and when they don't sleep well I get stressed and have to work later. My downtime is watching the news and staring at blogs on the computer before bed, which I know is about as relaxing and regenerative as repeatedly smashing oneself in the eye with a heavy rock.
I'm not very good at relaxing. I'm routine driven and like things to be just so. (Can we say Type A much?) So when I do have some rare spare time, I often spend it feeling as if I'm forgetting to do something. That seems, well, not cool.
I've definitely got to change something there. There's needs to be a bit more foot rubbing, novel reading, movie watching, long walks in the park kinda stuff going on - things that will recharge a battery.
I've been at the work-at-home-mom thing for six years now and it has been going swimmingly, but there are cold snowy days in March when I sometimes wonder when I'm going to crack up and run screaming from the building...because it's only a matter of time [insert maniacal laughter].
I think this lucky girl could use a few days at a spa. Or a B&B. Or in a rubber room. Whatever. Just so long as someone else is doing the cooking. And it's quiet. With no hairballs. Or diapers. A little vacation from my beautiful life.
There. That felt better.